This is what every Childcare Provider wishes parents knew!

I have been running my small in-home family childcare for almost two years now and while I have been fortunate in having some great parents, it hasn’t been without it’s challenges with respect to them.

When I first started, I contacted a lot of home childcare providers in the area to research the ins and outs of the business. Do you want to know what their biggest struggle was?

Parents.

That’s right, parents. They all said, “Parents are the hardest part of my job.”

I get it. You leave your little ones with someone you don’t know well all day long while you’re working. Nerve wracking. It’s one of the biggest reasons I started the business; I want to be home with my child.

Wanna know the other big reason I started the business?

To make money.

Yeah, I know, it used to make me feel icky to say that, but not anymore. Why should it? I don’t care how much you love your job, chances are, you wouldn’t do it for free.

I thought parents would be demanding in regard to how to care for their children, but actually the biggest headache is collecting payment from them. I have changed my contract and added addendums to it several times already in these past two years as I learn from experience.

I was warned to be firm on late payments. I was warned that parents sometimes “forget” and need reminding, and I was advised to not remind. Instead, hit them where it hurts; Charge a late fee.

There were many times when I should have late fee’d a parent and didn’t and just reminded because I felt guilty doing so. But let me tell you- I get so sick of reminding. It feels gross, it’s embarrassing and it makes me resentful. How many employees are expected to ask for their pay from one employer? Well, we have several sets of parents we work with and if all of them were constantly “forgetting” that would be a lot of asking, wouldn’t it? Or a lot of late payments and us having to pay our own bills late!

Parents bring their children to daycare because they are (usually) employees at jobs. As employees they are protected against their employer not paying them, or not paying them on time. Labor laws don’t apply to the self-employed; we have to stick up for ourselves. I can understand that employed parents who have never run their own business just might flat out not even think about that, so I am making everyone aware here, in this blog, because I feel like it’s important for everyone to be informed about how late payments and constant reminding effects us.

When my oldest child was in daycare, I started going through my divorce. I was broke, I had to get on food stamps and I was working and in college. I never once thought to take that out on the provider by not paying her on time, or giving her a check and telling her to not cash it until a later date. I have gotten these requests many times and it’s frustrating, and kind of insulting. One, it puts the burden of your financial hardship on me. And two, I have my own family to support, bills to pay, and I have to buy food to not only feed my family but also your children. It’s not at all fair to expect me to wait for my pay.

Look, if I don’t have the money for a gym membership (and I don’t) I don’t get a gym membership. If I don't have money to tip a waitress, I don't go out to eat. If you don’t have the money for daycare, then perhaps you should work something else out. That may sound harsh, but it’s harsh for me to be expected to pick up the slack for you. Why on earth would anyone ever think to ask that from someone who is providing a service?

I have had to pay my own bills late because I allowed parents to pay me late. I felt bad and guilty because, “oh they’re going through a hard time, they just got in an accident, their husband is sick, they’re sick, their kid is sick, etc. etc. etc.” But the fact is we all go through hard times. I don’t put my hardships on anyone else, period. My problems are not your problems and vice versa.

Would you like if your employer told you, "Man I am so sorry I know you usually get paid Friday, but I can't pay you till next Tuesday, hope that's okay!" And you as parents also have rights. If you don’t like a policy your provider has put in place, find another provider. We all have different policies and different things that make us tick. Find the provider you can work with best. Boundaries are essential in life, and we home daycare providers need to have them and to stick to them so that we don’t (perhaps unintentionally) become doormats.

Okay, okay, but you have to work and you really are going through a tough time financially. Still, I stick to my guns though and will list the reasons why you need to respect your provider and pay them on time, without them asking:

1. You know how sometimes you drop your kid off screaming and crying because they don’t want you to go? Ya, we deal with that sometimes 3 times in a row, and then we kind of deal with it all day long as kids get together and start mingling. They fight, they push, they hurt each-others feelings or don’t get their way. Or they’re hungry, or tired and guess what, they cry. We don’t just have your kids to contend with, we have everyone else’s and often times our own. Not everyone is cut out for this job, but we are or else we wouldn't be doing it.

2. We take on so many roles at once. We are the cooks, the janitor, the snotty nose and poopy butt wiper, the referee, the tantrum soothers, the baby rockers, the skinned knee fixers, the tear wipers, and the teachers of all kinds of things from how to use a toilet, eat with a fork, walk, drink from a cup, how to write, etc. We do this and not just for your kids; again we have several in our care! It can get exhausting, and we are constantly putting the children's needs above our own. Often times I don't have time to sit down and eat a meal until they're all asleep and even then a baby can wake up and interrupt my break time. We are constantly working even if we are taking a break, and most of us are open at least 10 hours a day.

3. We take on legal liabilities opening our home to you. I take my job very serious to ensure that your child is safe here every day, and that can be a lot of work. I have to take a CPR and First Aid Class every two years and when I think about it, it's pretty scary to think a kid could choke in my care. It reminds me of how huge my job is.

4. We don’t get paid sick days and yet we open our home, ourselves and our families up to all sorts of illnesses. Kids are like petri dishes. My first year open I had to close so many days because I got literally everything every kid had. And so did my older kids, my husband and the other parents, who called off sick to work and got some got paid sick time. (I could write a whole other blog on why we send your sick kids home!) We don’t pay into disability, so if we get injured on the job and have to close, guess what? We lose income.

5. Finally, we have options. In the county I live in, there is a huge shortage of childcare providers, especially for infants. In the past 3 months I’ve turned away about 15-20 families. I am not kidding!! So, when I have parents who pay me late, “forget” to pay (in quotes because I don't understand forgetting to pay a bill) I get frustrated.

I learned the hard way recently that a policy means nothing without action. I put into action a policy and charged a parent a late fee, and I will continue to do so.

I have to pay my rent, utilities, gas for the car, food and clothes for myself and my kids, same as you. Those late fees aren’t me being greedy; they’re meant to deter you from paying late. I would rather not charge them and just be paid on time, every time, without asking.

Finally, for people who say, “well, you signed up for this so you can't complain.” Yeah, I know. And you signed up for your job and expect to get paid on time. And even if you love your job, I’m sure there’s things you don’t love and perhaps you vent about those things. That’s life. The yin and the yang. I love my job, it is quite literally the best job I have ever had. There are so many reasons to love it, but I literally get sick from having to worry about having to remind a parent to pay me. Employees don't have that worry, period. As a friend of mine said, “Appreciation doesn’t pay the bills.” Just saying it means nothing without action to back it up. I can say I love you to my kids but they won’t believe me if I spit in their face right after. That’s how it feels to not get paid on time, or to have to remind and ask. I feel undervalued and disrespected. (and in my own home no less! Sheesh!)

Now you know! That’s it! It’s really that simple. I would bet a lot of parents just simply didn’t think about it and didn’t mean to be jerks. I tend to think that people don’t mean to take advantage, but for some reason for the home daycare provider, it seems to be easier for them to do so! That’s why I won’t tolerate it anymore, and financially, I can’t. So, in closing I will say thank you for your understanding, and thank you for choosing us to take care of your babies all day. I know that’s not an easy thing to do, and I commend my parents for being so damn cool about it and trusting me. But, business is business, it's not personal.I have to put on my own oxygen mask first and take care of myself so that I can better take care of everyone else. We should all feel empowered enough to create healthy boundaries and stick to them.